The Shape Love Takes
“Then He said to them all, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.'”
– Luke 9:23 (NKJV)
I’ve always struggled with the theology of redemptive suffering, the idea that we must suffer in order to be saved, or that enduring pain and struggle is somehow proof of our faithfulness to God. For many of us, this theology was not just taught, it was lived. We were encouraged to stay silent and remain in harmful situations in the name of obedience. We learned to call endurance faithfulness, even when it cost us our safety, dignity, or joy.
But that isn’t what Jesus means when he says, “Take up your cross daily and follow me.” Jesus is not asking us to pursue suffering or to remain in situations that cause us to self-abandon our dignity or voices. The cross is not an endorsement of harm. It shows us love that stands up to injustice, even when it’s costly.
The suffering of Jesus is not redemptive because pain itself saves. It’s redemptive because Jesus refuses to abandon love, truth, and solidarity with those who are most vulnerable. And that distinction is critical. A theology that glorifies suffering without naming its source often protects systems of abuse and harm rather than the people of God.
To live a cross-shaped life is not to erase ourselves and accept harm in the name of obedience. It’s to follow Jesus into a way of love that is courageous, truthful, and life-giving. Discipleship shaped by the cross doesn’t demand self-abandonment. It calls us to resist evil, to practice faithful love, and to trust that God’s way leads toward liberating wholeness.
The cross does not teach us how to disappear. It teaches us how to love without turning away from truth, justice, and one another.
PRAYER
Loving God, heal what has been wounded by misused theology and lead me into Your life-giving way of love.
JOURNAL REFLECTION
Where might God be calling you to release harmful ideas about suffering and step into a healthier way of following Jesus?